Could you marry a man you didn't love? These five women did - for VERY different reasons. So how have their relationships fared since?

By Alison Smith Squire


I wanted to please my parents
Diane Pulford, 52, from Peterborough, runs her own jewellery business. She has one son, Michael, 29, and is single. She says:

My wedding day in June 1977 was gloriously warm and sunny and I remember thinking that being cooped up in a church and hotel was a massive waste.

I even said to my mother, Florence: ‘I hope you’re happy, I can think of better things to do with my time.'

Under pressure: Diane Pulford married Tom in 1977


'Carol, my older sister who’d made my wedding dress, was horrified and told me not to be so selfish and to think of all the people who’d gone to so much trouble to make the day perfect.

'I was 19 years old at the time — in hindsight, far too young to marry — and my fiancé, Tony, was 21.

'He was a lovely, polite and kind young man, but he didn’t make my heart flutter. I liked him enormously, but I didn’t love him.

'My father, Bill, was an old-fashioned, working-class man. He’d tease me about having my head in the clouds and his mantra was: ‘Love doesn’t pay the bills.’

'I met Tony when I was a filing clerk at the firm he worked for. He was well spoken, middle-class and had an engineering degree. In other words, he was the ‘man with prospects’ my mother was forever talking about.

'Mum was always on my case, telling me I’d be a fool to let him go and how I’d be set up for life if we married.

'My previous boyfriend, who I’d been crazy about, had hurt me badly by cheating on me with my best friend.

'Tony never let me down and, after months of nagging, I began to think that my parents were right and I should take him off the market.

'So, after just four months of dating, we were engaged. Nine months later we married in front of 100 people.

'On the day I felt like a fraud. Tony talked excitedly about our future plans, while I felt flat and numb.

'We moved into a lovely three-bedroom house and I busied myself with the decorating, cooking and trying to be a good wife.

'But I knew I’d made a terrible mistake. I felt lonely and unhappy and would deliberately provoke rows so I could justify storming off to stay at my parents’ house.

'After 18 months, Tony came home from work and said: ‘This isn’t working, is it?’ I moved out that night and we divorced three years later.

'I don’t blame my parents, they just wanted the best for me. I was the one who thought dependability and financial security could make up for love.

'I spent the next 20 years with Mark, the father of my son, but we never married. I’m single now and happy to stay so.'

I married a man I'd just met
Lisa Mahon, 31, is an accounts manger. She lives in Witham, Essex, with her husband Edward, 40, a sales executive, with their daughter Georgia, three, and her son Dion, five, from a previous relationship. The couple have been married for four years. She says:

'I married Edward less than a week after meeting him. My friends were shocked because they never thought of me as a reckless person.

'It all began in the spring of 2007 when I had split from Dion’s father. Feeling lonely one evening I was surfing the internet and stumbled across Edward’s blog. It included extracts of his poetry, which I found wonderfully romantic and moving.

Cyber dating: Lisa Mahon married Edward within six days of meeting him following getting to know each other over the internet

'I saw that he was in Atlanta, U.S., but I still sent him a message complimenting his writing. He replied and we struck up some email banter. We then began talking daily on the phone and realised there was some real chemistry.

'After four months, Edward asked me to fly to Atlanta to marry him. Most of my friends and family were horrified but sometimes in life you have to go with your gut instinct.

'In November 2007, I travelled to Atlanta and knew instantly that we were going to have an amazing life. I didn’t love him then — because I think that takes time — but I knew it would come.

'Six days after I arrived we married at a local register office with no guests. The rashness only made it all the more exciting.

'Everyone back home was highly suspicious, accusing Edward of being everything from a crook to a visa hunter. But the fact was that he was financially secure and desperate for me to live in the U.S., but I didn’t want to move Dion away from his grandparents.

'Five months after our wedding, Edward was able to move to the UK after securing a work visa. He got a well-paid job straight away and our daughter, Georgia, arrived in April 2009. Quite simply, he’s the best husband and father I could wish for.

'I know they say ‘marry in haste, repent at leisure’ but that won’t be the case with us.

'The people who were so judgmental have now been forced to admit that we make a fantastic couple.'

He was desperately ill and I felt sorry for him
Patricia Beaumont, 35, and husband Jason, 39, live with their two children, Joseph, 14, and Joshua, 11, in Ipswich, Suffolk. Patricia is a housewife, while Jason runs a decorating company. They have been married for 14 years. She says:

'I was six months pregnant when I walked down the aisle in the summer of 1997 in a dress that had been altered to hide my growing bump.

'At that moment, I felt only anger and resentment at being cajoled into a wedding I didn’t want and a baby I hadn’t planned for — all because of my fiance’s serious and unexpected illness.

'I was 19 when I met Jason in a nightclub. He was good looking and fun, but marriage and babies were not even on my mind.

Baby love? Patricia was 19 and pregnant when she married cancer-stricken Joseph

'We’d been dating ten months when he was diagnosed with multiple myeloma — a very rare cancer that affects the spine and back.

'He underwent radiotherapy to shrink the tumours and doctors told him the treatment could leave him infertile. Neither of us knew that I was in the early stages of pregnancy.

'The thought of a childless future nursing a sick man terrified me and, as heartless as it sounds, I told Jason I wanted to end it.

'Shortly afterwards, I began to feel unwell. When a friend suggested I take a pregnancy test, I agreed just to remove the possibility.

'Sure enough it came back positive.

'I fled to Greece to try to clear my head but Jason called me pleading for us to marry and raise our child together.

'At that stage, he was still seriously ill and I had visions of being a widowed single mother. I felt in absolute despair.

'When I returned to the UK, Jason and his mother had booked the church!

'I’d have been the cruellest woman in the world to cancel the wedding and not continue with the pregnancy when it would make Jason so happy.

'The first year of our marriage was hellish — Jason just wanted us to be a family whereas I felt that marriage and motherhood had been forced upon me.

'Unbelievably, his treatment did not render him infertile and our second son Joshua arrived three years after Joseph.

'We were approaching our fourth anniversary when Jason’s cancer returned with a vengeance. His underwent a bone marrow transplant but his prognosis was grim.

'Suddenly, the thought of losing this wonderful, caring husband and father was unbearable.

'I realised then — for the first time — how deeply I loved him.

'I stayed by his bed for six weeks telling him over and over that I loved him — trying to make up for all the times I’d never said it before.

'He pulled through and has been cancer free for the past nine years.

'Despite our shaky start, I now adore him and believe we will be together for ever.'

My family chose my husband
Anita Singh, 42, a business advisor, has been married to civil engineer Amarjit Singh, 39, for 11 years. They don’t have any children and live in Dewsbury, West Yorkshire. She says:

'Amarjit and I had only met twice before we married in April 2000. Our match was arranged for us by friends and family. I never questioned it and trusted that the people who knew us and loved us would get it right.

Slow burn: Anita and Amarjit married less than a week after meeting after being set up by their families

'Of course, we didn’t love each other at the time but I’d no doubt we could make it work.

'My parents came to Britain from India in the Sixties to run a Post Office and I was born here, along with my three younger siblings. Although my parents had a successful arranged marriage, they never forced us into one.

'I went to university and had a very British childhood and adolescence, with lots of fun and freedom — but I was always knew my parents would like me to marry an Indian man.

'By the time I reached the age of 31, and was still single, they started dropping not very subtle hints about me leaving it a bit late.

'Mum’s relatives back in India were horrified that I was still unmarried in my 30s and took it upon themselves to set me up.

'There is nothing an Indian auntie likes better than a spot of match-making.
'At the time I thought: ‘Why not?’

'I didn’t have to go through with it and men weren’t exactly falling over themselves to date me. My mum was 19 when she married my dad and their union is unbelievably deep, genuine and strong. On a holiday to India I was introduced to Amarjit. He came from a good, modern-thinking family. He was educated, polite and very handsome but, even so, after our first meeting I wasn’t blown away.

'My family kept telling me what a wonderful husband he’d make and how our zodiac charts showed the best match they had ever seen.

'So, two week’s later, we announced our engagement. My mother is never wrong about anything and I trusted her to get this right too

'After an amazing traditional wedding in India, we came back to the UK. My British friends were shocked. And I won’t deny the first three years were very testing — we were, after all, both living with strangers.

'But slowly, day by day, as I got to know Amarjit’s kindness and humour, love grew.
'Now he is not only my best friend, he is my one and only true love.'

I yearned for a baby
Andrea Pierce, 44, is an office administrator. She has one son, Tom, 11, and lives in Windsor, Berks. She says:

'Justin and I had been dating for four years when he proposed. We were walking in a beautiful field when he suddenly dropped to one knee and offered me a sapphire and diamond engagement ring.

'It should have been the most romantic moment of my life but all I could think was: ‘I wouldn’t have chosen that ring.’


Regrets: Andrea Pierce had been dating Justin for four years before he proposed


'I was approaching 30 and my biological clock was ticking loudly. All my friends had married and had kids and I was feeling left on the shelf.

'Justin was nice looking, mature and had a good, well-paid job in the property business.

'I didn’t love him but I, foolishly, thought he offered my last hope of becoming a mother.

'So I agreed to marry him and six months later, in July 1995, and in front of 70 guests, I vowed to become his wife.

'We moved into a fantastic four-bedroom detached house in the country and, aged 33, I eventually gave birth to my beautiful son, Tom.

'Even though I had yearned for a child, I did not adapt to the role of mum very easily. I struggled to cope and became very unhappy.

'Justin was a good man and provider, but the feeling of love I hoped would come never did.

'Six years after we married I went to the Henley Regatta and got chatting to a man who made my stomach lurch in a way my husband never did. I knew then I could not stay with Justin. Two weeks later, he moved out.

'Needless to say, the relationship with the man from Henley petered out. I feel guilty for the way I’ve treated Justin and regret throwing it all away for a meaningless fling — but I only have myself to blame.'


source:dailymail