My big fat gypsy divorce: A year after her OTT wedding, C4's unlikely documentary star Joan finds herself without a husband and eight months pregnant

By Daily Mail Reporter



Dream that died: Joan Furey saved up six years for her OTT wedding, but now, aged 23, finds herself without a husband and pregnant too


We were transfixed by her spectacularly over-the-top wedding when it was shown on Channel 4 earlier this year.

No expense had been spared for Joan Furey, then 22, who had saved up for six years to have the wedding of her dreams, complete with a Cinderella-style carriage and extravagant dress with 20ft train.

But just a year after the event, which took place on October 29 last year, Joan, who is now eight months pregnant, has filed for divorce from Patrick Ward, 23.

She admits that the wedding should never have taken place, and that she should have trusted a nagging doubt following their engagement.

'I’ll always regret marrying him,' she told the Sunday Express. 'I’ve torn up my wedding photos and I’ve sold my dress.'

'We clashed endlessly over little things. We simply didn’t get on, didn’t understand each other and couldn’t communicate.'

Joan, who is from Manchester, first met Patrick at a party in his native Ireland.

'He seemed really friendly,' she recalled. 'He made it clear from that first day that he wanted to marry me.'

According to traveller tradition, a couple cannot live together before they marry, so the pair sustained their relationship with visits and telephone conversations, until Patrick proposed in May 2009.

She described how Patrick started to change not long after he proposed - and that unbeknown to viewers, she had called the wedding off five weeks before it was due to happen.
'He became argumentative, rude, moody and controlling, so we rowed a lot,' she revealed.

'Among travelling people, once there’s a ring on your finger you’ve made a commitment. I just had to hope for the best.'

After she called off the wedding, Patrick, who is from Ireland, visited her in Manchester, and begged her to reconsider. She added: 'It just felt too late to back out so I decided to take a chance.

But after they married, Patrick decided he wanted them to move near his family in County Offally in Ireland. By January, they were separated - and though they made several attempts at reconciliation, they split for good in June, shortly after Joan learned she was pregnant.

Joan now lives with her parents in Manchester, and says that though she is looking forward to becoming a mother, she'd never take Patrick back.

'We were both really happy about my pregnancy and I hoped it would help to bring us closer together but I was wrong. Patrick has left me on my own with his unborn child.'


Gypsy princess: Joan, who at 22 was considered relatively old for a traveller bride, smiles on her wedding day - but behind the fairytale was a nagging doubt


At 22, Joan was considered an old bride by the traveller community, in which many girls marry at 16.

Unlike her peers, she also had a job, working in telesales, and hopes to move out of her parents’ home and return to work after her son’s birth.

Though divorce is almost taboo within the highly traditional traveller community, she adds that her family have been nothing but supportive.

'There’s no shame on me; there’s shame on him for leaving me,' she says. 'I think everyone understands what I’ve been through.'

Joan and Patrick's story fascinated the nation when their extraordinary wedding preparations were filmed for a Channel 4 Cutting Edge documentary.


Doubts: Joan called off the wedding five weeks before it happened, but Patrick persuaded her to take him back


The programme was allowed rare access to three traveller weddings to reveal a culture steeped in tradition and religion.

It showed how no expense is spared when celebrating the union of young gypsy couples - the hair is big, the dresses bigger and the whole occasion gloriously over the top.

Most girls from gypsy and traveller communities are barely on the verge of womanhood as they become the centrepieces for these grand occasions, often thrust shortly after their 16th birthdays into the role of wife and soon-to-be mothers.

But despite the tender age of these brides - and sometimes the grooms - these marriages are usually guaranteed to go the distance because of strong religious and traditional convictions.

Young girls are virgins when they marry, as having children out of wedlock is considered taboo and divorce out of bounds.


No fairytale ending: No expense is spared when celebrating the union of young gypsy couples


The celebrations are visual spectacles and, despite the expense involved, some might dare say tacky.

But the show also revealed a community of contrasts, detached from mainstream society, living by centuries-old religious and cultural traditions, while simultaneously embracing the gaudier extremes of our celebrity and fashion-obsessed culture.

Despite her experiences, Joan still hopes to marry again. 'I can’t wait to become a mum,' she says. 'That’s what’s keeping me going.

'I hope I’ll get married again one day. Next time though I want to marry the right man.'


source:dailymail